When a person first gets sober, there is a whirlwind of activity. This is especially true if you go to detox or treatment, where much of your time is spent in therapy and groups. However, we’re all human and sometimes prone to drama. When you first get sober, everything may feel new. Your emotions may be more intense than usual. It may be easy to focus or obsess on a person, place, or thing that you’re unhappy about.

Letting Go Of Obsession

Small things – like arguments, bad traffic, or a bad day at work can loom over you if you let them. You can easily dwell on the bad if you choose to. Why is this? Unfortunately, your mind, which is used to the lifestyle of addiction, is also accustomed to creating distractions that help give you excuses to use your drug of choice.

Many people new to recovery find themselves obsessing over upsetting situations from their past. Sadness, regret, and even mourning your old lifestyle make take the form of obsession, which is a symptom of substance use disorder.

Give yourself time to focus on letting go each day, no matter what you’re upset about. Start and end your day with a “letting go” activity, such as journaling your feelings. You can also do this through meditation, prayer, or simply by taking a long walk and practicing mindfulness. All of these can help quiet your mind and focus on recovery.

Accepting the Help of Others

Accepting the help of others is an integral part of recovery. After all, look at where you ended up! But, unfortunately, your addiction didn’t do you any favors.

Now that you’re sober, you probably wonder what’s next. In recovery, you’ll have the opportunity to learn about your addiction. Treatment will help you through different types of therapy. And in the 12-step programs, you’ll find recovery peers who can help you stay sober. These are places you'll learn essential coping skills.

You will also need to find a sponsor who can help you work the 12 steps. Your sponsor is somebody you can trust with your secrets and who can share their experience, strength, and hope with you.

It can be humbling to accept help. But, just remember, asking for help is a sign of strength. You’ve got this! Calling, texting, and otherwise staying in touch with your recovery will help your focus immensely.

Learn More About Treatment Options

Asking for help is the first step in recovering from addiction. If you or somebody you love needs help, we’re here to help answer any questions you may have. So give us a call at 619-363-4767 to learn more about how we can help you get started on the path to recovery.

Many people who want to change their lives must take time to learn more about themselves. For people with addiction, cognitive behavior therapy helps them make better choices.  A lot of recovery is about making better, healthy choices. These choices enable you to live a more fulfilling life and can also help you achieve long-term sobriety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy, also known as CBT, can help you learn to live without the use of substances successfully.

Understanding Yourself and Your Behaviors

CBT is a tool that can help you understand your thoughts and your feelings. These often are things that you react to with specific behavior. For example, many people will have specific situations that are a trigger for using substances or drinking. For example, if you used to stop by a particular bar on your way home from work every day, it may be a big challenge to walk by without stopping. Passing by that spot now that you are sober is a dangerous trigger that you need to eliminate from your routine.

By recognizing triggers that cause a desire to use, you can start learning to respond with different behavior. In the example above, that would mean learning a new route to and from work.

CBT: Changing Your Thoughts, Actions, And Life

CBT is used in a variety of therapy settings. Therapists can use it to help people with mental health disorders and substance use disorders begin to change their behaviors.

Many people who struggle with addiction also have trouble with negative thinking and low self-esteem. These thoughts and feelings can lead to depression and self-destructive behaviors. Many people with a substance use disorder can feel stuck in a spiral of painful thoughts and self-destructive action. But you may feel like there’s nothing you can do about it.

Changing your thinking is essential to achieving mental health and your overall well-being. CBT can help you abstain from alcohol and drugs and help you discover a better way to live. You’ll learn about how you can challenge your negative thoughts and feelings.

Here are some other things CBT can help with:

Getting Help for Addiction

Getting clean and sober is the first step to a new life! If you or somebody you know needs help getting sober, we’re here to help. We provide a safe, therapeutic environment to detox from substances and start to reclaim your life. We’re here to help! Call us with questions at 619-363-4767.

Are you feeling more anxious than usual? There are a lot of reasons to be afraid right now, and the media isn’t doing us any favors. Anxiety, anger, and fear are all valid and part of what makes us human. Sometimes anxiety can be paralyzing or overwhelming. This is true for many people, not just those with substance use disorders. You may not know what to do to keep yourself safe, or feel like there’s too much to do and you’ll never get it all done.

Working Through Anxiety

First of all, you need to know that as a person in recovery, you’re a survivor. You have been through a lot to get to where you are today. Staying sober isn’t always easy, but life is easier when you stay sober and have a network of friends and support to turn to.

Here are a few ways to work through your anxiety:

Following the guidelines where you live is really important. Don’t risk your health or the health of others. You should be proud of your recovery right now, and guard it like a treasured possession. This means talking to people in recovery, continuing to work on your 12-step program, and allowing yourself to feel the emotions while you’re getting through this difficult time.

You're Never Alone

Even if you’re stuck self-isolating, you don’t have to be alone. Find 12-step meetings online, participate in recovery discussions on Facebook and elsewhere. Ask your sponsor, a friend or a therapist to help you make alternative plans for now.

You can get through this. You’re resilient and brave, even when you’re feeling scared or low. Recovery is the best option for you right now – it will help you stay safe and sane.

Be gentle with yourself, and have faith you can make it through hard times. You can and WILL get through this, one day at a time.

Getting Help for Addiction

Addiction doesn’t care who you are or what your plans are. It’s a cunning and powerful disorder that can be treated by caring professionals. Detox can help you clear your mind and body from harmful substances and create a new plan for your life. Contact us at 619-363-4767 to learn more about how we can help you start a path to a new life.




One tool that many people in recovery use to feel better about themselves and their life is affirmations. You may be familiar with affirmations from television or other media. They may sound “cheesy” but they can really help you change your negative thinking. For many people in recovery, affirmations are a way to change thought patterns and develop self-esteem.

What Are Affirmations, Anyway?

Affirmations are positive statements that you can use to help change your thoughts. Many people in recovery have a lot of negative self-talk and self-defeating beliefs. For example, you may beat yourself up when you make a mistake. Do you call yourself names like “stupid” or “crazy” when something goes wrong?

Writing and using affirmations can help you to challenge and stop negative thought patterns in their tracks. If you're thinking something negative about yourself, an affirmation can counter that with something positive. When you repeat affirmations regularly, you’ll start to rewrite your story. Rather than thinking bad things about yourself, focus on a few of the good things.

Affirmations can also help you work through thoughts that can cause you anxiety.

Writing Your Affirmations

Writing your affirmations can be simple and to-the-point. Counter some of the self-defeating talk with an affirmation or two. Some can also be about attitudes you hope to take.

Here are a few ideas to try out:

Do any of the above affirmations resonate with you? Try them out or write your own ideas down. Carry them in your pocket or bag. When you’re feeling frustrated or having a bad day, pull out your affirmations and say them quietly to yourself or in your head a few times. Say them as if you’re saying them to a friend or making an oath.

Getting Help for Addiction

If you or somebody you love is struggling with addiction, help and hope are available. Everyone deserves a chance to get and stay sober! Learn more about how we can help you in your recovery journey. Call us at 619-363-4767 to learn more about our programs.

When a person gets clean and sober as an adult, they go through a lot of dramatic changes. Parents are almost always happy but leery when their son or daughter decides that they’re ready to try a new way of life in recovery. The person in recovery may start to make a lot of big changes, quickly, and expect that their family will rejoice. For some people in recovery, it can seem like a let-down when people realize that repairing relationships will take a good deal of time.

Trying Family Therapy

Getting sober and working a recovery program can take some time. Many people go to treatment and ask to include their families in therapy. Family therapy is good for everyone because it allows there to be an intermediary who can help with having difficult conversations. Parents likely feel guilty but have many hurts at the same time about their child’s addiction.

The person in recovery may have hurt left over from their childhood years. Other family relationships such as spouses or children of the addicted person also benefit from therapy.

Family therapy allows people to sort out their issues with a professional guiding the way to resolution. Sometimes, parents have been in a codependent relationship with their adult child for years and may need help finding their own recovery. A treatment center can help you find help one-on-one therapy for family members as well.

Earning Trust Again in Relationships

As the old adage goes, trust is earned. This is very much true in recovery when a child is repairing their relationships with their parents. If this is you, remember that your recovery is about yourself. Focus on what you can do today and in the future for your family.

Maybe you should help your parents around the house or run errands for them. Ask them what their needs are. Repairing relationships is a day-at-a-time. Try doing things for your loved ones and not expecting any specific rewards.

Getting Help for an Addiction

Are you worried that you or somebody you love is living with a substance use disorder? Help is available in an empathetic, professional environment. Hundreds of people come to Present Moments to chart their paths in recovery. We’re here to get you started by calling 619-363-4767.

When a loved one is sick from addiction, it’s often family and friends who come forward to seek help. Treatment centers often work with parents, partners, and friends who only want what’s best for the addicted person. You may know your loved one has a substance use disorder, but not how to get them help.

Unfortunately, there’s a danger of “helping” your loved so much that they can’t get the treatment they need. This kind of help often leads to codependent enabling. This can be a severe problem for loved ones, even when the addicted person enters recovery. You may not know how to give it up.


Understanding Codependency & Enabling


Codependent enabling happens when you take care of a loved one even when they are equipped with the tools to take care of themselves. For example, if you have an addicted person in your family, you may decide that they need your help paying rent because they have used up their funds on other things, such as drugs. Or, you may promise to pick up a person from a bar, no questions asked, whenever they get too drunk to drive. Over time, this person comes to rely on you for a ride home every evening, taking advantage of your goodwill.

Enabling prevents the addicted person from facing the consequences of their behavior. The addicted person will get what they want from the enabler, and the enabler, in turn, will become codependent.angry codependent couple

So where does codependency come in? When the addicted person is happy, that makes the enabler feel “happy,” even when unhealthy patterns have been established. More and more of the enabler's time goes into "fixing" the other person, to the point you may resent them and neglect your own life. You may give up friends, lovers, and hobbies to "help" this person.

Enabling and being codependent hurts both parties. The enabler drops everything in their own life to take care of the addicted person, and the addicted person pushes the limits of their addiction, knowing that there are few consequences to endure alone.

People help their addicted loved one out of love, but when you help them with things they can obviously handle but choose not to, you’re infantilizing them. Your loved one can sit in a jail cell overnight when they’re arrested for being drunk in public. They can pay for their own taxi rides home. And if they need to keep their cell phone on, then they need to earn the money to use it. Even when a person is afflicted with a substance use disorder, they are still an adult. If you don’t set limits, they will continue to spiral without feeling like there are any problems.


Getting Help for Codependency

Codependency can make you miserable, and enabling can prevent your loved one from seeking or accepting help for their substance use disorder. In treatment, there is usually family therapy can help you learn together about breaking old patterns.

There are also meetings that can help you cope with your own patterns and your loved one. Enabling doesn’t give you any control over their actions, but places like Al-Anon and Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) can help you find the support you deserve to break the cycle of codependency and enabling.

There is aways help available for those who are willing. If your loved one is ready to quit using, give us a call to learn more about treatment options. Or better yet, ask them to give us a call at (619) 363-4767.. All calls are 100% confidential.

Are you an enabler? Addiction is a scary disease; it can cause your loved one to take risks they usually wouldn’t take and start behaving startlingly. People who are close to a person struggling with substance abuse often want to help their loved one, but they may not know how to help. Sometimes this desire can outweigh good judgment, and instead of improving their loved one's life, you may enable them to continue acting out on their disease. This is what psychology calls being an “enabler.” It means you help a person out in a way that keeps them from suffering the effects of their addiction.

Does this sound like you? Think about it carefully. Although the word may seem cynical, it’s not about being judgemental. Have you bailed somebody out of jail, helped them with debts or otherwise done things to help them out? Do you give them money they haven't earned whenever they ask you for it? If so, it’s likely you’ve enabled them in the past.enabler gives money

Being an enabler doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person. You want your loved one to get better, and you want them to stay out of trouble. However, for them to start recovering, you’re going to have to let them become responsible for their actions.

Everyone wants to help the people they love, but when you enable a person, you may be taking away an opportunity for change or growth.


Setting Boundaries with an Addicted Person


When you enable your loved one, they feel free to let you take some of the burdens of responsibility away from them. It’s easier for them to be free from consequences of their own actions. Bailing somebody out, paying their bills, or giving them money is a way that enabling helps prevent repercussions. To keep yourself from enabling, you’ll need to begin setting boundaries. If you’ve been helping a loved one with money, you can start the process of cutting them off. You don’t have to stop everything at once, but creating new healthy patterns that encourage independence is a part of recovery for both of you.

People tend to enable out of love, but it can cause resentment and heartache. If you give your adult son money, for example, and he disappears for a few days, you’re going to worry and wonder how they spent it. It’s not your responsibility to watch after your loved one and clean up their messes.

Addiction can cause people to become codependent. This is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation, but it’s not healthy. It can cause you pain, resentment, and heartache, even when your loved one enters recovery.

Boundaries in relationships are essential. An addicted person needs to learn to be responsible for their own lives and choices. Enablers need to learn to live their own lives and let that person learn to be accountable again.


Help for Enablers

Learning to take care of yourself is important when you have a loved one in recovery. The great news is, of course, that there is help for the whole family.

If your loved one is in treatment, ask the recovery professionals that are helping them to recommend local resources for you. You can also look for meetings such as Codependents Anonymous or Al-Anon to find other people who have been through the same thing. If you are experiencing depression or other emotions that are tough to cope with, please also do yourself a favor and explore your options for one-on-one therapy and family therapy with your loved one. Addiction is a family disease, and everyone deserves a chance to heal and grow.

Recovery can be a bright and hopeful journey, but it’s not without bumps in the road. Getting help for yourself, as well as your loved one can make the journey easier and more rewarding.

If your loved one is looking for help or more treatment options, please give us a call at (619) 363-4767 to learn more about your options. We’re happy to recommend resources for you, as well.

menuchevron-down linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram